


As time heals us...

by AAThanatos



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Catharsis, Character Death, Death, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Love, First Time Blow Jobs, Friendship/Love, Gentle Kissing, Grief Sex, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Healing Sex, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I Love You, Jasico - Freeform, Kitchen Sex, Love, M/M, Moving On, Trans, Transgender, True Love, solangelo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 21:08:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13843068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAThanatos/pseuds/AAThanatos
Summary: A three chapter short story. If you want a good cry, here it is. A story of pain and love. Learning how to move on from grief and mourning into something not better but different.  Trigger warnings of death, gore, and potential smut.... ok it’s not potential it’s going to happen but I’ll drag it out a bit. Solangelo/Jasico.





	1. Choking on despair

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings 
> 
> -blood  
> -dead body  
> -major character death  
> -gore  
> -dark thoughts  
> -suicidal thoughts
> 
> This story stemmed from a bad week and I needed to write out something sorrowful and cathartic. Yes it’s sad but sometimes we need to let the tears flow so the smile can re-emerge. Thus why it’s only a three chap story.

As time heals us...

 

The battle was all around them and they were surround them. Nico couldn’t see through the smoke as he tried to find Will. Tears in his eyes, not really from worry but from the sulfur and dust clouding his eyes. This was unexpected, unwarranted even. They were supposed to have normal lives now! They were doing fine in the normal world until Chiron called them back for this battle, knowing he didn’t have enough reinforcements to cover the ground. The party ponies were doing their best and Percy was taking the coastline of the battle to put his powers to better use. We were gaining ground on that side because of it, plus Annabeth by his side meant anything was possible. 

Nico wasn’t anywhere near the fading point but his energy was waning as his Stygian sword seemed heavier than it ever had, as blood soaked it to the hilt as he took down monsters that Tartarus had never given birth to before now. Stronger, faster, more brutal than ever. Where was everyone, the only comfort he took was bolts of lightning flashing in the sky as he new Jason was still alive, working his powers to cover them. A sharp piercing sound filled the air as Nico looked to the left to find it knowing that ear bleeding whistle anywhere. Running in that direction he saw him, blue eyes focused on his target. The heat began to rise in the air as Leo was incinerating the enemy around them to the point of making Nico realize his hair smelled like burn chicken, he had been singed. Leo must have been burning in Kelvin range. As heavy as his exhausted legs were they kept running, running towards Will. 

Ten feet he just needed to get ten feet and he could travel them to the coastline where the line of Fire was weaker and they could be more help. 

9 feet.

8...7...6...5... boom!

A large sword ripped inside of Will Solace’s Torso from behind lifting him off the ground. Nico used the shadows to pull him higher as he jumped and whirled around swinging the inky darkness of his weapon and burst the hellish monstrosity to gold dust with a single swipe to decapitate. Falling down and twisting his leg he found Will still bleeding on the ground choking on his own blood. 

“No! No no no Will! Baby nonono!”

Grabbing him tightly he wrapped the shadows around him to pull them both into the familiar and loving darkness that Nico so embraced. Landing in the medical tent outside the battlefield he found it empty. Where was everyone! Kayla! Austin! Someone! Where were they!

Will was still awake though, still bleeding heavily. Nico ripped his shirt off and put pressure on the wound. Reaching in Will’s pack around his waist he found the ambrosia. Popping it into Wills mouth he tried to chew it. Coughing up more blood most the the ambrosia spat itself out. Spitting out the remainder of blood and ambrosia, holding Nico’s hand for dear life. 

“Will please baby, let me just try to get another square in. Maybe some nectar! I’m sure we have some in here or unicorn draught. Tell me what to do!”

“Baby you can’t... nothing .. it’s over.”

“No! No it’s not just tell me.. p-please! “

“Before I coughed it up ::::cough wheeze:::: it tasted like you. Like that spot below your ear when I kiss and wake you up in the morning. “

Nico was drowning in his tears hoping and praying to every god that could help. Pleading with Apollo to save his son. 

“Nico please stop. Just.. just h-hold me. I’m s-scared.”

“I’m here! Stay! Please! Stay for me!”

Grabbing on both sides of Wills face he kissed him never minding the blood. 

“I love you please don’t leave me! Stay just stay! Please! It’s my fault! We shouldn’t have come! Just stay! I need you please!”

“Nico please! I need you to promise me! Promise me you w-will move on ok!? Don’t hide away. You are so b-beautiful and special, you have made me so h-happy. Don’t lock yourself away!” Will’s voice was getting weaker as he spoke.

“I can’t live without you!”

“Yes you can. You will see me again I promise I won’t be r-reborn until I see you again. I’ll wait for you. Just don’t wait for me! Not while you’re alive. P-please Nico. I need you to l-live. Promise me!”

“I-I p-pro-promis-promise. I’ll try. I love you, God’s I love you so much!”

“Nico I have and always will love you. I lo...” a low hiss escaped him. 

Wills last breath shuttered and he fell still, eyes still open and mouth agape. Sounds of the war around them falling silent as Nico’s world came crashing down. Never letting go of his loves body a Visceral cry rang out for no one knew how long. Time passed and Nico had no measurement of it. Just tears and screaming. 

Warm arms wrapped around him from behind and before Nico registered who it was a pale hand was prying Nico’s away from Wills body. Nico knew that hand. 

Hades.

Turning himself around he attached himself inside his fathers soul covered robes. Scratching down the Gods skin in tears begging him to bring him back. Screeching and drooling, desperate.

“I can’t son. I wish, I wish so badly I could. I’m so sorry.”

“Please...” Nico let out in a wheezy whisper, voice shot and raw. “Anything, I’ll give you anything.”

“I know you would and if I could ask you for it in exchange for William I would. But you my son more than anyone knows that this is the way of life. Just know how much he loved you, know he’s at peace. I made sure he went to paradise.”

“Promise me he’s in Elysium .”

“No, Williams soul is a courageous one. This was not his first life but his third. All full of noble deeds and heroics. William made it to the isles of blessed. As my son when you pass you will be allowed to join him, but only if you life your full life Nico. Only if you die naturally. Do not take your own life to be with him because that’s the one exception.”

Nico thought bitterly cradled in his father arms. Of course there would be that concern. Ashamed he buried himself further in his fathers chest mourning. Nico’s father knew him to well, of course he would put in the amendment. It crossed his mind a million times since he saw the love of his life gutted. Wanting to join him in his afterlife. The only soothing balm holding Nico to his promise was the Will was in not only paradise, but the best paradise the underworld had to offer. 

***time break*** 

(After the war)

Nico was going through shrouds in the camp attic. Finding the appropriate one for each of the fallen. It was still his duty to perform the rites. Hands Falling on the shroud of Apollo his knees buckled as he held it close to his chest. There would never be enough tears for his fallen William. They never seemed to dry up. Holding his fathers promise in his heart was the only thing keeping him from destroying himself and everyone around him. A creak of the door startled him. Not even bothering to look up from the shroud he held so tightly, a body kneeled next to him. Holding a white shroud with a red Dove embroidered on the front. Looking up he saw the forlorn and tear stained face of Jason Grace. Lost in his own grief he hadn’t truly registered whom else had fallen.

“Piper.”

Jason shook his head as his lip quivered. 

“S-she really liked you ya know.”

“Ha well (sniff) she liked Will better.”

“Everyone liked Will better.”

Nico laughed, he actually laughed. Sweet Jason. The first real person Nico trusted and that trusted him back that wasn’t family. Superman always knew what to say. To an outsider it would have looked like a mean comment but to Nico it was an adorable inside joke. 

Jason reached out to hug Nico from behind. Jason had taken to doing this through the years when Nico was sad due to his not wanting anyone to see him be emotional, yet still needed the physical contact. 

“I-I can’t. I can’t do it. Someone else needs to.”

“Nico we have to. I’m here ok? The burial fires are tomorrow, you need to prepare him, and I need to prepare her.”

“I’m not strong enough!”

“Yes you are! We have to be!” Jason said with more authority than he realized. 

“You have to be the last one to touch him.” Jason completed in a whisper. 

***timebreak***

Wills body looked fake. Like wax. Like a doll. Unreal and so real at the same time. Nico brought out the bowls and sat them on the counter. Taking the jars of oils he poured them into each. Clove, Bergamot, and olive. In each oil a sprinkling of herbs. Poppyseed, lavender, powdered pomegranate, dried hyacinth, yellow daisy petals. Mixing the oils and herbs he took each one by one and anointed and prepared his lovers body. Salt laced with the falling tears of his grief. Each oil and herb representing not only Will but Nico as well. In death they would still be imbued in eachother. Nico plucked a Stygian Iron ring out of his pocket. Hands shaking he slid it onto Wills left hand ring finger.

“I was saving it, for when we got home. I was stupid. I should have asked you before we came out here, but I was to nervous. Not that you would say no, but that you would say yes. It felt heavy in my pocket. The idea that not only I could ask you but it would be truly recognized hadn’t truly connected yet. But the minute you stopped breathing it’s all I wanted more than anything. It never occurred to me that you wouldn’t be coming home with me. I still feel like I’m going to go home and you are going to just be sitting on the couch and this would all just be a sick fucking joke. I don’t want to sleep in our bed and roll over to find you not there. I don’t want to not trip over your shoes in the hallway. I want to fight with you again, we had great fights.”

Nico was massaging the oils and herbs deeper into Wills skin as he gave him his last words.

“I know you hate Bergamot. I did it on purpose. Stupid right? Even after all this I am still trying to piss you off. As if you would just hop up and yell at me for using this one. I put two coins under your tongue. I know you only need one but maybe Charon will be nicer if you give him two. Chiron told your mother that you were in a car accident, the Hecate cabin sent an enchanted copy of you to Texas.... I’m so Fucking mad at you! I know that’s stupid but... I am. How could you just leave me here alone. I need you. I need you and you just, left. 

I promised myself I wouldn’t contact you right away. I need some more time. If I do it now I’ll just yell and I really don’t want our first contact after this to be yelling. Everyone says I’m lucky because I can call upon you, but they don’t understand the feeling. It almost worse. Almost worse than not being able to contact at all. Sure other people might get closure from it but... how could I ever get closure from you. I’ll never love anyone like I love you. Please don’t forget about me. Please keep your promise to wait for me. I can’t promise you that I’ll move on. Not yet at least. But I’ll never, ever, ever forget you William Solace.” Ending his supplication he kissed the oiled still lips. Sealing his promise to never forget.

***time break***

The next days passed like hours. Full of incoherent thought and out of body experiences. Just tearstained emotionless staring as Wills and the other fallen burned on the pyre. Eventually Nico realized he needed to go back to their apartment. It was hard enough sleeping in the hades cabin. That was their first real home. Yet when he stepped into the apartment Nico almost fell to his knees. Like walking through jello. Nico couldn’t face the bed yet but seeing the closet made him lose it. It wasn’t the silent tears and dissociative states he had been in, this was a hysterical fit that only happens when you were alone. Unable to breathe, searing chest pain, exhausting heaving that breaks your very soul in half as he clutched and smelled Wills shirts. It was to much..it hurt to much. So much worse than any physical pain he had ever endured. Almost at the brink of his breaking point a calm voice entered his mind.

“You have one hour. Use it wisely. It will be the last and only time. You are worth breaking rules for.”

Looking behind him a spectral form appeared and took slight solidity... then fully solid. 

Maria Di Angelo.

To be continued ......


	2. Mamma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico speaks with his mother, hades has a few conditions.

(I cannot speak Italian and I am not going to pretend I do. But for the sake of the fantasy of this story, while I’m going to be writing in English I see Nico and his mother speaking in Italian during their exchange).

Mamma.

A short ethereally beautiful woman formed in front of me. My large brown eyes and raven hair were mirroring back at me, that was the only similarity. In fact she looked more like Bianca. I didn’t question what was happening, I just ran into her arms. Hysterical tears pouring out of me, snot and drool uncontrollably spilling out all over her shoulder in the most unattractive way possible. 15 years since my mamma has seen me and the first picture of her son was a mess. Holding on to her as if I would break apart, inhaling her scent for memorization. She smelled like Neroli and Cloves. So familiar yet like a clouded memory. 

My tears mixed with the emotion of losing Will and seeing her. Small olive hands combed through my hair gently soothing me with the voice I had forgotten, how could I have forgotten her voice.... am I going to forget his voice? The thought only undid me all over again. I tried my best to calm down only because I wanted to talk to her, needed to talk to her. Just the feeling of my mother holding me was soothing the burn, a feeling that I never thought I would feel again. 

“Niccolo I’m here, I have you little one.” Pressing her forehead to mind she wiped at my face. So gentle, so maternal. 

“Mamma, mamma I’m sorry.”

“No! No no no Niccolo don’t be sorry.”

“W-what did Dad tell you?”

“Henry told me that you lost someone you loved and needed me.”

“Henry?”

“Sorry, Hades. Your father told me his name was Henry when we met, I haven’t been able to break the habit.”

“Wow, Dad as a Henry. Interesting.”

“When did you lose your wife?”

My heart dropped. My father never told her, not that it would be his place but something inside me had wished he did. My sadness now drowning in the waves of anxiety, I had to come out to my dead catholic 1900’s mother. I could do this. I had to do this.

“Mamma I lost my husband.”

“Husba... oh! Oh Niccolo! Oh. “ she paused as if not knowing what to say. Then suddenly she said “How long were you married?”

“Well, I didn’t ask him yet. I was going to, but he died before I could.” I forced out.

“You lived in sin! Shame on you Niccolo. I expected more of you.”

Part of me wanted to point out her hypocrisy for having children out of wedlock with my father, part of me wanted to laugh that what shocked her the most was that Will and I lived together without being married.

“I’m sorry mamma. We weren’t allowed to for a long time but... but gay people can marry now.” I whispered with exhaustion on my face, it hurt to move it. 

Kissing my cheek she rubbed circles into my back. 

“Your uncle was like you Niccolo. His name name was Lorenzo, he loved another man. Ran away with him when he was fifteen. I never saw him again. My parents were mortified but I saw how much he loved him, love is never wrong. I don’t understand it but know that I love you and who you love is important to me too.” Silent tears fell in place of my hysteric ones. My mother loved me and accepted me. A gift that I never knew I wanted, but was so happy to receive. Feeling overwhelming sadness and pure elation at the same time was weird. Like having a broken bone but feeling the morphine begin to hit. 

“Mamma, thank you.”

“No need to thank me love. Tell me about him.”

“About Will?”

“Yes.”

“Like what?”

“Since we don’t have much time give me the long story in a short version.”

I rubbed at my eyes hoping I wouldn’t break again. I wanted my mother to know this, I can do this. I sighed and took a deep breath.

“ I’ve always known I like men. Will was my first love. A healer, son of Apollo. When we moved here away from camp he went to medical school and was going to be a doctor. Will has everything to me. Will loved me Mamma. The first person to love me since you and Bianca.” I said in one breath.

“Niccolo, your father loves you too. Never doubt that or I wouldn’t be here” she patted my leg like she used to when I said something silly as a child. 

“I know, well now I know for sure. I miss you mamma. I feel like I didn’t know you very well” my voice sounded raw and broken as I spoke to her. 

“Well, I was an opera singer. Your father found me in a play house rehearsing for a very morbid opera that a local man made. It was Love at first sight. We had Bianca and then a year later we had you. Henry broke the rules a lot with us. Visited often, every other month or so. Then we came to America when he told us we were in danger. Provided for us like a good man should. Then the accident happened. When I got to judgment your stepmother was waiting for me, brought me to the palace. We spoke in her garden for a long time. I was surprised to find out she forgave Henry and I for our affair. Nice lady. Told me that Henry was taking care of the both of you and arranging things for you. “ laying my head in her lap I listened to her story while she ran her fingers in my hair. 

Telling me how hades had made sure Bianca and I would never want for money. I knew that due to the small fortune in my name that was given to me once I became of age. I was able to pay for Wills medical school in full and it never left a dent. Told me how she was shocked to see Bianca so young but proud that she died a hero. Encouraged her to be reborn. Said Bianca was now a little girl named Estelle..... I smiled, I knew I loved Percy’s sister for a reason. I just never knew why. Now I do. Mamma told me about our family and how much she wants me to be happy. That his pain will pass eventually. That it doesn’t get better just different. That I shouldn’t mourn for to long. That Will would want me to move on and when I get to the afterlife that I would see him again. 

She told me how when you find another great love but have one waiting for you that it all works out in the end. That the person waiting for you loves them too even if they never met. That was a comfort, knowing that if for some reason I found someone to spend my life with that Will would love them too and we could all be together in paradise. It’s weird how things work after we die, of course i couldn’t even imagine loving anyone after this. The logical side of me agreed with her though, that it’s a maybe and not a never. I don’t remember falling asleep. I woke up curled up at the end of my bed still with an arm around me. Peeking up I saw my father.

“I couldn’t let you wake up alone. I let you have almost a whole day with her instead of an hour. Zeus would have my head if he ever found out, but he will never find out... right?” The question in my fathers voice was almost comical. I chuckled with my sore throat. 

“No papa, he won’t.”

“Papa, I haven’t heard that in so long. Since you were a child. Did seeing your mother help?” I sat up at his word so that I could look into his black eyes. 

“Yes papa. Or should I say Henry?”

“Oh yes, I figured she would tell you that.”

“I came out to her.”

“Did that go well?

“It did. “

“Good, she was always open minded. “

“She looks like Bianca.”

“That she does.”

“Thank you, thank you for breaking the rules for me. “

“You are worth it. Every moment you breathe you are worth it Nico.”

Arms wrapped around me, more tears. I was so tired of crying. 

“I love you son. It will get easier. Take your time. I will have Alecto take care of anything you may need. I have a few conditions though.”

“Of course you do. What’s the condition?”

“The condition is three things, first you must see doctors to help you through this. I know how you are and where this may lead so Alecto will be setting up appointments and making you go to them. The second condition is that you must move out of here. I have an apartment waiting for you, you can bring his things with you but you cannot stay here. I don’t think it would be good for you. Do these things and everything will be taken care of and you will have time to heal at your own pace without worry.”

I took in his words. Looking around the room, our room.... my room. 

“Deal, but nothing gets thrown away!”

“Nothing, not until you are ready. But staying here would only hurt you more. You need a change of scenery. When you go to sleep tonight and wake up everything will be done. You will be in your new apartment and everything will be transferred over. You have a habit of dwelling and letting things consume you. If you stayed here it might destroy you. I want to see you happy one day. I meant it all those years ago and I still mean it now.”

Nodding I hugged him again. I felt a wave of exhaustion consume me again and I felt him carry me to the couch in the living room. My father knew me to well, knew I wouldn’t be able to spend the first night without him in our bed... my bed.

***

When I awoke the next morning I was on a different couch. A large L-unit couch in a penthouse suite. Looking around with bleary eyes of sleep I saw all our... my things were there along with updated appliances and electronics. Also a few things I had never seen before but looked to personal to be just random decor. Hearing a wheeze I looked over and saw a note clinging to a body that was covered with a blanket on the other end of the couch. Peeling up the blanket I saw blonde hair and imperial gold rimmed glasses, Jason. I picked up the note without waking him.

“The third condition, you have a roommate that can help you, Someone who knows your pain. Help each other move on, help each other learn to live again. He agreed to the conditions as well. 

Love, papa”


	3. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We go into the first year without Piper and Will....and the things that come with it.

Apparently, I have a roommate as part of the condition of my fathers support in my mourning, part of me thought it was stupid and I had made a mistake by taking his gifts. Then a week went by living with Jason and it has been a blessing. I was living with someone who knew how I felt and knew how to give me the space I needed and knew when to stick around so I wouldn’t wallow. Alecto making our appointments with a grief therapist that was also a demigod, a child of Thanatos. Both of us also went on medication to keep our head above water, we had to because we both agreed that we were not handling this well even for normal grieving standards.

 

(Eight months later)

 

Jason was puttering around the kitchen while I was lounging on the couch waiting for our weekly movie night. The past eight months has been both healing and heartbreaking. Like the day we both decided we needed to get rid of our partners things, allowing ourselves to keep only one thing. I kept one of his shirts and Jason kept a teddy bear that she has given him. We also put all the pictures in their own albums instead of keeping them on the walls. Both of us had even tried to go on a date with someone, we were both home by eight and cried in the other’s arms that night. 

 

Jason and I had an understanding, if one of us just couldn’t take the solitude of our beds we could sneak into the other’s rooms and climb in bed. Just the warmth and the weight in the bed was a comfort. So, with us having the mutual understanding we had set things during the week like movie night. Walking over to me we had a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand.

 

“Are we drinking our sorrows away tonight?” reaching for the bottle I uncapped it and poured it straight into the empty glasses on the table.

 

“Yeah, maybe a drinking game. Its her birthday today.” My heart dropped at his words, Wills birthday was last month, and I spent the entire day distracting myself only to come home and crying my eyes out over the album. Apollo showed up after an hour of my tearful wailing. We spent the rest of the night talking about him, it really helped. I heard how Will’s mom and he met and how he delivered Will himself. Of course, he gave me a long lecture on how Will would want me to move on and be happy.

 

“What’s the drinking game?”

 

“Harry potter drinking game. It was her favorite.”

 

“What was her house?”

 

“Hufflepuff, I’m a Gryffindor. You?”

 

“What do you think?” I glared at him as it was obvious to both of us, Slytherin.

 

“Which movie are we starting with Superman?”

 

“First one, I think we could make it to the fourth before alcohol poisoning.”

 

“Let’s do it.” Clinking glasses he pressed play on the TV and we went down a rabbit hole of self-deprecation. 

 

Jason was wrong, we were smashed by movie two, he apparently printed off rules that try to kill you. We weren’t even watching the movie anymore, we were just talking about Piper and Will and the things we missed. What I didn’t realize was that since we were drunk, the secret stuff started to pour out.

 

“I miss having sex with him, like I should miss the real stuff, but I miss the sex. I didn’t even realize how sexual I was until he was gone. Like the sex dreams are the worst. I miss the weight of him in my mouth, is that weird?” I poured myself a little more coke in my whiskey glass so that I could slow down a bit.

 

“Naw that’s not weird, like piper wasn’t the biggest and I could fit her completely in my mouth all at once. She came like a fucking firehose though, you know what I hated though, she never warned me when she was going to cum. Like give a dude a tap on the shoulder or something. I didn’t mind swallowing, but I don’t want it in the back of my throat when it happens, I end up choking because it goes down the wrong tube into my lungs. That’s just embarrassing.”

 

It took me a few seconds to catch what Jason had just said. Was he saying….no he couldn’t be….she wasn’t….was she?

 

“Jason, are you trying to tell me that Piper had a dick? Or are you just drunk?” Turning red he inhaled sharply, shaking his head he covered his eyes.

 

“Fuck I’m so sorry! Fuck she didn’t want…she didn’t want people to know.”

 

“Piper was Trans?”

 

“Yeah she was. I never knew until the sex thing came up. She passed really well, as you know.”

 

“Yeah, I had no clue. Is it weird to say I can’t imagine you sucking a dick?”

 

“Dude it was weird sucking a dick, I never thought I would be sucking a dick, or other things.”

 

“Other things! Jason! Did you let her…you let her didn’t you!” I skootched closer to pry his hands away from his face. This was the first time discussing our lovers without tears.

 

“It wasn’t bad, I miss it now. I bought a dildo for when I miss her and its late at night.” Taking a large swig from the bottle he smiled.

 

“What’s your sexuality? I never thought to ask I just assumed you were straight.

 

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it since Piper. I guess I like girls because I liked Piper, I didn’t care that she had a penis. I guess if I had to guess I would be Demi sexual? I guess, I think? I know I need a strong bond before I can find someone sexually appealing. What about you? Did you even think about girls at all?”

 

“Yes and no. I think everyone gets curious, I like boobs. I think boobs are great, love the look of them but when it gets down to Brass Tax I like men. Men get my blood pumping. I have a whole new respect for you though. Being a teenager and excepting that your partner is Trans right away says a lot about you.” I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed. 

 

“Yeah, the Trans thing didn’t matter to me, Piper was a girl through and through. Beautiful and delicate and Strong and bitchy.” Breaking into giggles at the word bitchy I lost my coordination and fell off the couch. Laughing Jason took my hand to help me up, but he also lost his balance and fell on top of me. Face to face he was crushing my spleen. Laughing and about to get back up I stopped him. 

 

“Just stay for a minute, like this.”

 

“why?”

 

“I miss having someone on me like this.”

 

“I miss having someone under me like this.”

 

“Five minutes of indulgence?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Readjusting he put is forearms out as not to crush me and spread his legs. Staring at each other I started to run my fingers in his hair from above me, it had grown out long since he hadn’t cut it since the funeral. Jason’s hair was soft, if I crossed my eyes and let them blur he kind of looked like Will. Only even as drunk as I am I know he’s not, he doesn’t smell like him or even feel like him. I still enjoyed this though, maybe too much. He didn’t ask and neither did I but he leaned his head down and lightly kissed me. The feel of someone else’s lips felt amazing, I knew we were drunk and we are going to regret this, but I couldn’t bring my self to stop it, I wanted it to badly. I missed being touched. Working his tongue slowly into my mouth I moaned at the intrusion, damn this felt good. 

 

Felt Needed.

 

The longer the kiss went on the more intense it became. Hands on both parts flew everywhere and I felt the expanse of his skin under his loose T-shirt, taught and ripped. Both of us used exercise as an outlet and right now that outlet really got me hot as the dips of his hipline circled under my thumbs. Our movements becoming desperate he reached for my pants and unzipped them. Breaking the Kiss, he moved down kissing my chest through my shirt and pulled my erection out of my briefs. Jason’s mouth was a godsend. I heard him undo his own pants and the sound of him sucking and the wet sound of him touching himself filled the air and for once my brain turned off. All the shit and the buzzing and the intrusive sad depressing thoughts finally cleared out of my head and I felt bliss for the first time in eight months. 

 

Curling my fingers in his hair I began to move his head faster and hard as I hit the back of his throat with my cock. The build came quick and I tapped his head and warned him I was close. Swirling his tongue around my head I shot so hard into his mouth the air from my lungs punched out of me in a gasp and cry. I saw him swallow and rear up, cumming on to my exposed half hard dick. Once he was done he bent back down and cleaned up his mess slowly while I shifted into my afterglow. I scooted over to let him fall beside me, both of us still exposed and breathing hard. 

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

 

“Its my fault, I asked you to lay on top of me.”

 

“How do you feel?”

 

“I thought I would feel really guilty and shitty, but I don’t. Maybe it’s the booze. I’ll probably feel terrible when I’m sober.”

 

“Same. I don’t feel it now but I’m sure it’s coming, pun intended.” I giggled at the pun.

 

“It was just a blowjob right? Nothing to get weird about. We are just lonely.”

 

“Yeah, just lonely. You are bigger than she was.”

 

“Well, I don’t know what to say to that. Thank you.”

 

“You taste the same though, sweet.”

 

“Will said that too.”

 

 

We went to our own beds after that and never talked about it.

 

 

(4 months later)

 

Jason and I never brought up the blow job again. We went on with our lives as if nothing had happened. I waited for the guilt to set in and I’m sure he did to, I couldn’t tell you what he felt but the guilt never came. It was just two lonely friends getting off together. Today was the year mark and we are being silent with each other most of the day. One-word answers and moving around the apartment in a weird dance. Stopping at the kitchen island he took a breath as if he was about to throw up. I was sitting on a stool beside it trying to choke down a very bland breakfast.

 

“Todays the years mark.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I need to ask you a favor, a favor I promised myself that I wouldn’t ask until a year had passed.”

 

“Jason just spit it out.”

 

“I want to contact Piper.”

 

Fuck, I didn’t see that coming. I had the power to do it, I could do it, but should I ? The look on his face was heartbreaking.

 

“Why?”

 

“What do you mean why?”

 

“Why do you need to contact her Jason.”

 

“I need closure.”

 

“We have been doing that in therapy. I am not sure that would help it might even set you back. Dr.Allen told me that when I wanted to contact Will.”

 

“Well, I think we should. Just once. “

 

I stirred the spoon in my cold oatmeal and I rolled it over in my mind. Would this hurt him more? Would it hurt me more?

 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea Jason. “

 

“WHY!? Other than Dr. Allen give me one good reason why you can’t give me this! I would do anything for you Nico, Anything! Give me this please.” Jason was infront of me now leaning down to give our eyes level range. 

 

“Jason….”

 

“If you can’t do this than you never really loved him!”

 

“HOW DARE YOU!!!”

 

“How dare I? How dare I? How dare you! How dare you deny me the one thing that could let me move on! I need to move on Nico! I need to get out of this funk and out of this sadness and I need to say goodbye to her to do that!”

 

I was shaking and tearing up at him yelling at me. I hadn’t cried in a while and it felt dirty. Obviously, he didn’t mean that thing he said about me not loving Will, Jason knows better than anyone how much I loved Will, he just wanted to make a point. It still was a low blow though. 

 

“Fine, Go to the store. Ill need supplies. Ill text you the list.” Nodding at me he grabbed his coat and headed out the door. Fuck this was going to suck.

 

(An hour later)

 

I had set up an alter in both our rooms, I decided while he was gone that I was going to contact Will too. Jason had a point, if we do this and it sets us back then we won’t do it again and we will know for the future. I lit the candles and burned the herbs and sang the chants at his alter. Pipers form appeared in a weird Green apparition and gain slight color. I left before I could look at Jason’s face telling him that he had fifteen minutes before she dissipates so don’t waste it. Kneeling at my alter I did the same ritual with a shakier voice, I was scared. I the Ghost King feared a Ghost.

 

Will appeared, I knew better than to reach for him, it would be really sad to touch him only for my hand to glide through. 

 

“I was wondering when you would do this, I’m proud of you.”

 

“You are?”

 

“Yeah you waited a whole year, I thought you would break on my birthday.”

 

“I thought about it.”

 

Its amazing how easy it was to talk to him, like picking up where we had left off.

 

“Tell me you are happy Will.”

 

“I am, I have my brothers here. I can visit Elysium. I miss you though. Time works differently though, like I know its been a year but its only felt like maybe a week. Ill see you again in no time.”

 

“I miss you so much Will. I haven’t really moved on, but the doctor says that I’m on a good track.”

 

“I can actually check up on you, it’s a perk of the isles of Blessed. I am really happy in your progress. Thank you for doing that for me, my last wish. Moving on. I wasn’t sure you would, but I am super happy you have.”

 

“I haven’t moved on?”

 

“Um that blowjob said otherwise.”

 

I was in shock, Will saw me and Jason fool around all those months ago.

 

“I was drunk I didn’t know what I was doing.”

 

“You care for him; Piper and I have talked about it and we really hope you two work out. Jason would be really good for you.”

 

“I don’t like Jason that way, it was one time, and I don’t want to spend this time talking about you watching me get my dick sucked by another guy.”

 

“Shut up, I know you better than anyone Nico and you like him. I can see it even if you haven’t admitted it to yourself yet. I love you and I know you loved me, but you need to let yourself fall in love with Jason too. When you both die Piper and I will be waiting for the both with open arms and we can all live together down here. All of us together and happy. Let him make you happy Nico.” I was tearful at this, Will knows me so well it hurts. Of course, I have feelings for Jason. I wouldn’t have let him touch me like that if I didn’t, I’ve just been in super denial. My heart swelled knowing that Will approved of it and would wait for me patiently. 

 

“I will always love you ya know. I don’t think I’ll ever truly stop.”

 

“I know, I feel the same. If it was in reverse I would be the same way. You are so strong Nico, and I am happy you are allowing people around you to help you instead of closing yourself off.”

 

“That’s all you baby, you made me soft.”

 

“Really? I thought I made you hard? I remember you being hard a lot.” Fucking Will, he wont ever change even in death.

 

“Yeah well, our time is almost up. I love you Will.”

 

“I love you to Nico, I’m proud of you, be happy. Give Jason a chance.”

 

“I don’t even know if he likes me that way Will, it was just a drunk blow job, not a date.”

 

“He likes you, trust me. If things get to hard contact me again, but I’m limiting it to actual emergencies or once a year ok?”

 

“Bossy as ever.”

 

“Its why you love me, ti amo Niccolo.”

 

“Goodbye Will, Ti amo.”

 

Fading before my eyes I ran to the bathroom to blow my nose. Jason was right, the fucker. I felt better, cleaner, lighter. It is nice knowing he still wants to see me from time to time but the actual reaffirming permission to move on really helped me. Wiping my face and opening my bedroom door I saw Jason at the kitchen island leaning over it with his hands in his hair.

 

“How did it go Jay.”

 

“Eye opening.”

 

“Same.”

 

“Seems like her and Will talk.”

 

“Yeah it seems that way, do you want to talk about it?”

 

“No.”

 

“Do you want to Fuck about it?”

 

“Gods yes.”

 

Standing straight he made his way over to me in three strides. Picking me up he sat me on the island and hit my mouth in a kiss so hard I tasted blood. Jason’s mouth felt even better sober, both of us more coordinated than the last time. Clothes were being ripped off in a carnal exchange, his rough hands moving over me in desperation. I knew I would regret this later, but I grabbed the olive oil off the island and drizzled it over my fingers and started opening myself for him. Jason was busy gnawing on my neck leaving obscene hickeys that I hadn’t had since I was 14. Once I was prepped enough I slicked his dick in the same oil, as my hand ran up and down hic cock I realized how fucking big he was, and it made me shudder, I had never take a dick this big and gods I wanted it so badly. Grabbing my ankles, he pulled me forward and threw my knees on his shoulders. Pushing into me roughly I felt the pain and burn that I had missed so much in the last year. I screamed in bliss as he wrecked me against the island. Jason was an amazing lover, Zeus bred indeed. My toes were curling as he drove into me harder and harder, his mouth attached to my nipple sucking it red and raw. Jason’s dick pushed against the good spot inside on every thrust and it had me sobbing his name. Our lips connected again, and I wove my fingers in his hair pulling painfully tight. Jason made noise during sex, which was a whole new experience for me and I loved every noise and whimper of my name. I was close and reached for my neglected dick. My orgasm crashed over me in waves as he came deep inside me soon after. Both of us in tears toward the end. Not out of sadness but catharsis. Sweet relief and zero guilt. Forehead to forehead tears silently spilling.

 

“You ok?”

 

“I have a cramp in my ass.”

 

A burst of laughter roared from our chests, embracing in our laughter I felt his strong arms tighten.

 

“This has been a long time coming you know.”

 

“I didn’t know actually, I pushed it away a lot. Will helped me find it though.”

 

“Its why I wanted to talk to her, I needed her blessing. I couldn’t keep going without her permission to go after you.”

 

“How long?”

 

“Since before the Blow job. I knew it was happening, I was falling for you.”

 

“It was that night itself that opened my mind to the idea, I loved it. I can’t tell you how many times I jerked off to that memory. “

 

“Same. So, uh want to go out sometime?”

 

“Sure, just let me clean this oil out of my ass and we can go see a movie or something.”

 

“Ok, I’ll go buy tickets.”

 

 

We got married five years later…..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the last chapter I hope you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> Please review! I love hearing from you guys and just because I’m putting this short story out doesn’t mean I’m abandoning my other works. I promise my smut will continue.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr or Instagram! ShleeZaeMour


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